If you’ve a drunken dispatch of your own - and who doesn’t? - feel free to contribute! We can’t guarantee a 100% hit rate for publication, though, and if you’re looking for payment, you’ll have to look elsewhere. Write for the same reasons you drink: fleeting pleasure and the false conviction that you’ve achieved something great through little or no effort. And because you love us, beer goggles notwithstanding. Mwahuggiez.